Ineffective. . .

  Anyone else feel like they beat their head against the wall everyday?

Anyone else feel like nothing they say or do takes root anywhere?

Anyone else feel ineffective, like nothing you do matters?

There are seasons in all our lives where we feel more ineffective than others. I think that the season of small children and housework is one of those. . . yelling the same things to your kids every day, "Stop arguing!" "Pick up your room!" "Take your dishes to the sink!" "Stop arguing!" 

"Whyyyyyy, oh, whhhy, did you use so much toilet paper. . .again!!!"

Don't get me started on the laundry, the groceries, the kitchen. . .all things you do every day that will just need to be done again tomorrow. . or in five minutes. . .

I typed my word into an online thesaurus. . .this is some of what I got. . .

Ineffective- feeble, fruitless, futile, idle, impotent, inadequate, incompetent, indecisive, inefficient, inept, inferior, lame, limited, neutralized, null, powerless, spineless, unable, unavailable, unfruitful, unproductive, unprofitable, unsuccessful, void, withered, worthless

I was kinda surprised to see two more of my lies in the list. And there were others. . . new words for what I have been feeling about myself . .sooooo, are just dealing with more of the same stuff here? New words for the same concept?

Ineffective by definition is: a specific or definite failure to perform a task or accomplish a purpose.

I don't know about you, but I don't want to lead a life that is ineffective. I want what I do to matter. My housework will always be a lesson in futility, but I want to see progress in myself and in my children.

How do I go about changing this ineffectiveness?

2 Peter 1:5

Make every effort to add to your faith, goodness; and to goodness, knowledge; and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness; and to godliness, mutual affection; and to mutual affection, love. For if you possess these qualities in increasing measure, they will keep you from being ineffective and unproductive in your knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ.

Hmm. . .I think I see a recipe here. I like recipes! They are something that, if you follow it correctly, you will achieve the end result. So if I add to my faith, goodness, knowledge, self-control, perseverance, godliness, mutual affection and love, then those things will keep me from being ineffective. Those sound like lofty ideals, but through the promises of Christ I know that He will use His power work out these things in me if I ask.

James 5:16

The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective.

I am promised that if I remain in Him each day He will shape me and mold me so that I will bear even more fruit.

John 15:1-5

I am the true vine, and my Father is the gardener, He cuts off every branch in me that does not bear fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit he prunes (cleans) so that it will be even more fruitful. You are already clean because of the word I have spoken to you. Remain in me, as I also remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me. I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing.

So, how do I remain in Him? By spending time in my Bible and in prayer. Spending time with other like minded people, that are going through the same struggles. We are able to encourage one another. Listening to and watching and reading things that are in line with Him.

But wait, it gets better! Remember that tree from yesterday? Well, here it is again, with another promise!

Psalm 1:1-3 

Blessed is the one. . . whose delight is in the law of the Lord, who meditates on His law day and night. That person is like a tree planted by streams of water, which yields its fruit in season and whose leaf does not wither- whatever they do prospers.

If I meditate on His Word, I will bear fruit in season, will not wither (grow weary. . can I get an "Amen!"), and whatever I do will prosper! 

Colossians 1:9-12

We continually ask God to fill you with the knowledge of His will through all the wisdom and understanding that the Spirit gives, so that you may live a life worthy of the Lord and please Him in every way: bearing fruit in every good work, growing in the knowledge of God, being strengthened with all power according to His glorious might so that you may have great endurance and patience, and giving joyful thanks to the Father, who has qualified you to share in the inheritance of His holy people in the kingdom of light. 

If I want to live a life pleasing to Him; a life worthy; a life bearing fruit, then He has promised to give me the power to have great endurance and patience to see those things come to pass.

Ephesians 1:19 

And His incomparably great power for us who believe.

Ephesians 6:10

Finally be strong in the Lord and in His mighty power.

Lord, through You I have the power to be fruitful and effective. I can claim your promises to prune me to bear even more fruit. As I fill my heart with Your Word, give me endurance and patience to keep at it. Allow me to see Your fruit in my life each day. Make me into a powerful woman who is used by You, even in the mundane moments of my life that seem like they don't matter.

You will notice that there is nothing in these passages that says the kids will listen to me right away, or that the house work will do itself, but I do see a promise of endurance and patience.

By focusing myself on Him I can cross out my ineffective and claim His promise to be. . .

Powerful.

Wallflower. . .

Sigh. . .

There is something ironic about me tackling this one on my blog for anyone to see. You might think it is because I feel safe behind my computer screen, but you would be wrong. Each of these posts have been published with sweaty palms and a pounding heart. There is so much in me that really has no desire to bare my soul and my frailties to cyberspace, but here I am anyway. . .

I am the one sitting on the couch in a corner not saying anything. . .

I am the one at the party with my back pressed against the wall. . .

I am the one tucked away reading, "ignoring" those around me. . .

I am the one who is unapproachable and aloof . . .

I am the one just trying to blur into the crowd. . .

Wallflower

I have let that word define me for most of my life. For those of you that know me well, you might not say that about me. When you get to know me, you really can't shut me up. I am bossy and silly and a leader at home and at work, however, in certain social situations. . .aye yei yei!

It was in fact one of these situations that prompted all of this introspection in the first place.

It went something like this. . .

I walk into a room, happy to be there, excited to take part. . .

In walk several people I don't know. . .

I shrink a little. . .

In walk more people I don't know. . .

I am out numbered. . .

I start to observe those who are outgoing and confident. . .

I have nothing to offer. . .

I wither into myself like a morning glory on a hot summer afternoon. . .

I don't say another word all night.

On our way home, I turn to my husband and say, "Why did I do that? What is wrong with me? I literally felt it happen! I felt myself shut down."

As part of my preparation this morning I googled the word, wallflower. . . 

Here is one of the definitions that came up:

Wallflower- someone who chooses to observe, instead of experience life

Oh, dear. . .what have I been missing out on in life? 

I had to sit back for a minute and digest that.

While I was sitting there this verse came to mind.

John 10:10

The thief comes only in order to steal, kill and destroy. 

I have come in order that you might have life- life in all it's fullness.

Have I been allowing myself to live a less full life because I have allowed my confidence to be stolen? What is at the root of this? Is it as simple as these words to myself:

You have nothing to offer in this situation, so sit there and keep your mouth shut. 

Let those who have something to offer take the stage.

Why have I believed this lie for so long?

1 John 3:19-21

This is how we know that we belong to the truth and how we set our hearts at rest in His presence: If our hearts condemn us, we know that God is greater than our hearts, and He knows everything. Dear friends, if our hearts do not condemn us, we have confidence before God.

God is greater than our hearts, and if I am His child and He no longer condemns me, then my heart should not condemn me. I can stand with confidence before Him with my heart at rest.

Jeremiah 17:7-8 

But blessed is the one who trusts in the Lord, whose confidence is in Him. They will be like a tree planted by the water that sends out its roots by the stream. It does not fear when heat comes; its leaves are always green. It has no worries in a year of drought and never fails to bear fruit.

Isaiah 32:17 

The fruit of righteousness will be peace; its effect will be quietness and confidence forever.

Quite a different picture than my shriveled up morning glory, huh? 

I am a tree planted by The Water.

I am quiet and confident.

My roots are strong.

My leaves are green.

I have no fear of heat or drought.

I will not wither.

I will never fail to bear fruit.

Hebrews 10:35-39

So do not throw away your confidence; it will be richly rewarded. You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what he has promised. For, "In just a little while He who is coming will come and not delay." And "By my righteousness one will live by faith. And I take no pleasure in one who shrinks back." But we do not belong to those who shrink back and are destroyed, but to those who have faith and are saved.

Philippians 1:6

Being confident of this, that He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.

So this confidence that I am promised; I need to cling to it with perseverance, knowing that while I am not perfect, He will continue this work in me until He calls me home.

But where do I find the strength to persevere?

Nehemiah 8:10

The joy of the Lord is your strength.

The Lord has loved me and saved me. He is in me and is working on me and changing me. What joy I have in knowing that! It is that joy that will give me strength. If He is in me and sees me as someone worth working on until completion, then don't I have something to offer, too?

Lord, I am your child. I am worthy. Do not allow the thief to steal my joy (the joy you gave me that is my strength), so that I may live a full life. You are doing a good work within me and I should feel confident before You and others. I have a lot  to offer to this world because You have given me so much by working in me. Let me be rooted in You so that I will not wither and shrink back. I exist to glorify You. Allow me to do that with boldness and confidence. 

Next time I am out of my comfort zone of family, close friends and work I don't have to shrivel up. My desire is to cross out the wallflower that I was and open myself to others. . .bold and. . .

Confident.

Weary. . .

Tired. Weary. Exhausted.

Call it what you want. That is what I am most of the time.

I work three 12 hour night shifts a week. I have two kids. I homeschool those two kids. I have a house to clean and laundry to do and grocery shopping needs to be done. . .

blah, blah, blah. . .blah-dy, blah. . .

We all have our list.

We are all tired.

We are all weary.

We are all exhausted.




I was just talking to my husband as he was trying to go bed the other night saying, "If only I wasn't always so tired! If only I could wake up early on my days off to get somethings done! If only. . ."

It was that same night that I was asking for energy that I wasn't able to fall asleep and ended up getting out of bed to clean the kitchen. . .hmmmm. . .was that an answer to my prayer?

In the way that I tackled "worthless" yesterday, I was excited to delve into "weary" this morning. . .after I fixed coffee and breakfast and collected eggs and. . .

My time this morning in The Word went in an unexpected direction. . .



Jeremiah 31: 25-26

"I will refresh the weary and satisfy the faint." At this I awoke and looked around.
My sleep had been pleasant to me.



What a beautiful picture! I want this! I can just imagine slowly opening my eyes, stretching my arms, looking at the day ahead with renewed energy and a pleasant attitude! Sigh. . .this is my goal. How in the world do I get there when I am here
(rubbing sleep out of my eyes and on my second cup of coffee).



Isaiah 40:28-31

Do you not know? Have you not heard? The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary, and His understanding no one can fathom. He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not grow faint.

Matthew 11:28

Come to me all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.



Ok. So this strength and power comes from God, right? I just need to go to Him each day for my rest and then take His yoke upon me and learn from Him. . . scritch (the sound of a record scratching). . .

His Yoke

Wait just a minute!!! The promise comes when I have His yoke upon me? He promises that is is easy and the burden is light? He promises that in His yoke I will find rest for my soul?

What is "His yoke?" Certainly not facebook, pinterest, candy crush, solitare, reading books. . .insert whatever time waster you want. I complain about not having enough hours in the day, but yet I waste so many of them doing things that don't matter. I use this excuse ALL the time, "I am so tired. I deserve to put my feet up for a minute hour, drink another cup of coffee and check my facebook."

What would happen if I woke up in the morning and asked for strength for the day to do what matters?


My marriage matters. I am called to be a loving wife.

My children matter. I am called to be a good mother to them.

Their education matters. I am called to be a teacher to them.

My home matters. I am called to be a good stweart of what God has given me.


God has promised to give me the strength and energy to tackle those things that He has called me to. . .and to be honest, those are the only things that bring me lasting joy. . .I don't know about you, but this is starting to hurt a bit.


Galatians 6:9

Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.

Hebrews 12:3

Consider Him who endured such opposition from sinners, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.

Proverbs 30:1

I am weary, God, but I can prevail.



I loooove that last one! I can prevail!!!! We need to keep going after what is good and to not give up.

So, my prayer to day is that I focus on what is important. I ask for the energy to complete the tasks set before me each day. Show me what things are of You and what things are merely a waste of my time. Show me how to approach each day encouraged that You are with me through it all. Allow my sleep to be pleasant to me and help me to wake up refreshed.


I might still be tired in the morning after working a night shift and being up for 24 hours, but I am confident be cause of His promises that I can cross out weary and will approach this day

Refreshed.

Pile of Lies. . .

O.K. So, I haven't published on my blog in quite some time. . .life. . .enough said, right?

Most often I post fun and "fluffy" things things like recipes, 

craft projects, puppies, smiling children, etc.

Today, though I am sharing my heart, my struggles, my humanity. . .

I lay awake last night unable to sleep, which is not my norm!!! 

I usually fall asleep in 30 seconds flat. 

I ended up getting up out of bed and going in to clean the kitchen, which is also not my norm!!! 

I usually follow the mantra of, "it can wait til morning."

While I was rustling around the house the thoughts that plagued my sleep cycle kept running through my mind. . . worthless, weary, wallflower, ineffective, incompetent, incomplete, selfish, self-doubt, self-condemned. . .

As I was thinking these thoughts, I felt like I should just write them down. I wrote them all down on a piece of paper to get them out of my head and decided to tackle them in the morning. As I was looking at my list I felt a voice inside me say, "Look to my Word. There you will find your answers. The words on this paper are lies." 

Here is my pile of lies in all it's pathetic glory.

This morning I grabbed my Bible and a journal and started in on the first word on my list.

Romans 3:12

All have turned away, they have together become worthless; there is no one who does good, not even one.

Romans 4:14

For if those who depend on the law are heirs, faith means nothing and the promise is worthless. . .

Romans 4:16

For, the promise comes by faith, so that it may be by grace and may be guaranteed. . .

When I try to do it on my own I am trying to "work" it out under the law (to follow all the rules, to be good enough). I need to remind myself each day to stand under Grace and bask in the knowledge that God as chosen me to be His daughter.

As I looked up verses and wrote my prayer down a word jumped out from my page. . .Chosen. . .I have been chosen by God. God would not chose something that is worthless any more so than I would bring home a rotten apple from the store. He has deemed me worthy!!!! I am chosen. I need do nothing more than to have faith in Him and believe that He has poured out His grace and deemed me worthy. If I am trying to prove myself, then it makes His promises to me worthless.

So, for today I will cross out worthless and exchange that lie for truth.

Chosen.

Rag Rug Tutorial

So, I got put on call from work the other night and I decided to do something fun, rather than do what I normally do and try and get caught up on "stuff" around the house. . .

or . . .er. . .waste time on the computer. . .

Who does that?

Certainly never moi!

Anyway, I have had this project rattling around in my brain for a while and I decide to hit the fabric closet to see if I could find enough scraps to get my plan into action.

I found several different colors of leftover fabric from quilts and an old white bed sheet. . .

Perfect!

I cut the fabric into 2 inch strips and then got out the largest crochet hook I could find. 

I started with a chain about 2 feet long and then started single crocheting around that chain in a spiral. . .

The pattern I went for was to do a row of white and then a row of colors.

Here are a few action shots. . .

Loop and pull through. . .

When you start turning around the spiral you will need to add some extra stitches to keep the rug from turning into a bowl. . . on some of the rows I ended up doing two stitches in the same whole every other space around the curved part. I just kinda played it by ear to keep the rug flat.

Next to join the colors or when switching to white. Trim off. . .

Cut a slit about 1/2 inch or so. I doesn't have to be perfect.

Repeat with the next color. . .

Fold and snip. . .

Layer the two pieces together with the short tail on top. . .

Thread the long tail through. . .

Pull through. . .

Tighten. . .

And keep on working until the rug is as big as you need, then finish off just like you would with a crochet blanket. . .

This rug is big enough for a door mat.

I am pretty pleased with the way it turned out!
Best of all it came completely from my scrap closet and I was able to complete is in a few evenings while watching tv with the fam. . . I loooove multitasking a project!!!

Table Scraps. . .

So. . . .

I was cleaning up my table in my craft room last night (gasp!)

and I came across several bits and pieces from recent projects.

 I decided to try and come up with some quick cards rather than do what I usually do and put all of the pieces into a drawer or bag and promptly forget they ever existed!

This is the first card I made with leftover piece of cardstock (I didn't even cut it),  the center from a bracket frame cut on my Cricut, and leftover flower and leaves from another card.

I added the sparkle (Z1754), bakers twine (Z1702) and letters (Z1779).

Love it!

The next card I used another little piece of cardstock, with a leftover flower stamped from  Just For You (B1398) that I didn't end up using on another card, the center jewel was left over from my daughter's BD card.

I added silver shimmer trim (Z1799), ribbon and a stamped sentiment.

Love it! Love it!

Hopefully this will inspire some of you to. . .

1.Clean up your space!!!!

2.And use up those table scraps!!!!

Easter Card

Here is a card I made just in time for Easter. 

Even though it was snowing today I am holding out for Spring to show it's face. . .

Working with these colors brought Spring to my craft room at least!

Supplies List:
B1398   : Just For You Stamp Set
Z2106   : Blush Stamp Pad
Z2173   : Slate Stamp Pad
Z2197   : Pear Stamp Pad
X7163B: Chantilly Paper Pack
X5936   : Juniper Card Stock
Z1814   : Chantilly Assortment
Z1326   : Pink Sparkles
Z1096   : Neutral Embroidery Floss
Z1776   : Pixie Glitter Alphabet
Z1799  : Silver Shimmer Trim

Get your supplies today! Visit my website, buttercup.ctmh.com, to get started!