Friday, September 27, 2013

Weary. . .

Tired. Weary. Exhausted.

Call it what you want. That is what I am most of the time.

I work three 12 hour night shifts a week. I have two kids. I homeschool those two kids. I have a house to clean and laundry to do and grocery shopping needs to be done. . .

blah, blah, blah. . .blah-dy, blah. . .

We all have our list.

We are all tired.

We are all weary.

We are all exhausted.

I was just talking to my husband as he was trying to go bed the other night saying, "If only I wasn't always so tired! If only I could wake up early on my days off to get somethings done! If only. . ."

It was that same night that I was asking for energy that I wasn't able to fall asleep and ended up getting out of bed to clean the kitchen. . .hmmmm. . .was that an answer to my prayer?

In the way that I tackled "worthless" yesterday, I was excited to delve into "weary" this morning. . .after I fixed coffee and breakfast and collected eggs and. . .

My time this morning in The Word went in an unexpected direction. . .

Jeremiah 31: 25-26

"I will refresh the weary and satisfy the faint." At this I awoke and looked around.
My sleep had been pleasant to me.

What a beautiful picture! I want this! I can just imagine slowly opening my eyes, stretching my arms, looking at the day ahead with renewed energy and a pleasant attitude! Sigh. . .this is my goal. How in the world do I get there when I am here
(rubbing sleep out of my eyes and on my second cup of coffee).

Isaiah 40:28-31

Do you not know? Have you not heard? The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary, and His understanding no one can fathom. He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not grow faint.

Matthew 11:28

Come to me all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.

Ok. So this strength and power comes from God, right? I just need to go to Him each day for my rest and then take His yoke upon me and learn from Him. . . scritch (the sound of a record scratching). . .

His Yoke

Wait just a minute!!! The promise comes when I have His yoke upon me? He promises that is is easy and the burden is light? He promises that in His yoke I will find rest for my soul?

What is "His yoke?" Certainly not facebook, pinterest, candy crush, solitare, reading books. . .insert whatever time waster you want. I complain about not having enough hours in the day, but yet I waste so many of them doing things that don't matter. I use this excuse ALL the time, "I am so tired. I deserve to put my feet up for a minute hour, drink another cup of coffee and check my facebook."

What would happen if I woke up in the morning and asked for strength for the day to do what matters?

My marriage matters. I am called to be a loving wife.

My children matter. I am called to be a good mother to them.

Their education matters. I am called to be a teacher to them.

My home matters. I am called to be a good stweart of what God has given me.

God has promised to give me the strength and energy to tackle those things that He has called me to. . .and to be honest, those are the only things that bring me lasting joy. . .I don't know about you, but this is starting to hurt a bit.

Galatians 6:9

Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.

Hebrews 12:3

Consider Him who endured such opposition from sinners, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.

Proverbs 30:1

I am weary, God, but I can prevail.

I loooove that last one! I can prevail!!!! We need to keep going after what is good and to not give up.

So, my prayer to day is that I focus on what is important. I ask for the energy to complete the tasks set before me each day. Show me what things are of You and what things are merely a waste of my time. Show me how to approach each day encouraged that You are with me through it all. Allow my sleep to be pleasant to me and help me to wake up refreshed.

I might still be tired in the morning after working a night shift and being up for 24 hours, but I am confident be cause of His promises that I can cross out weary and will approach this day


Thursday, September 26, 2013

Pile of Lies. . .

O.K. So, I haven't published on my blog in quite some time. . .life. . .enough said, right?

Most often I post fun and "fluffy" things things like recipes, 
craft projects, puppies, smiling children, etc.

Today, though I am sharing my heart, my struggles, my humanity. . .

I lay awake last night unable to sleep, which is not my norm!!! 
I usually fall asleep in 30 seconds flat. 
I ended up getting up out of bed and going in to clean the kitchen, which is also not my norm!!! 
I usually follow the mantra of, "it can wait til morning."

While I was rustling around the house the thoughts that plagued my sleep cycle kept running through my mind. . . worthless, weary, wallflower, ineffective, incompetent, incomplete, selfish, self-doubt, self-condemned. . .

As I was thinking these thoughts, I felt like I should just write them down. I wrote them all down on a piece of paper to get them out of my head and decided to tackle them in the morning. As I was looking at my list I felt a voice inside me say, "Look to my Word. There you will find your answers. The words on this paper are lies." 

Here is my pile of lies in all it's pathetic glory.

This morning I grabbed my Bible and a journal and started in on the first word on my list.

Romans 3:12

All have turned away, they have together become worthless; there is no one who does good, not even one.

Romans 4:14

For if those who depend on the law are heirs, faith means nothing and the promise is worthless. . .

Romans 4:16

For, the promise comes by faith, so that it may be by grace and may be guaranteed. . .

When I try to do it on my own I am trying to "work" it out under the law (to follow all the rules, to be good enough). I need to remind myself each day to stand under Grace and bask in the knowledge that God as chosen me to be His daughter.

As I looked up verses and wrote my prayer down a word jumped out from my page. . .Chosen. . .I have been chosen by God. God would not chose something that is worthless any more so than I would bring home a rotten apple from the store. He has deemed me worthy!!!! I am chosen. I need do nothing more than to have faith in Him and believe that He has poured out His grace and deemed me worthy. If I am trying to prove myself, then it makes His promises to me worthless.

So, for today I will cross out worthless and exchange that lie for truth.